“I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant; for with my staff only I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies.” Genesis 32:10
As I have been (slowly!) making my way through the Old Testament this year, I came across this small verse in Genesis I hadn’t noticed before. While I did remember the events of Genesis 33 (where Jacob and Esau reunite), and Genesis 30 (with all of those speckled and spotted sheep!), it seemed that Genesis 32 had escaped from my memory. Yet as I read the account of Jacob journeying back towards his family after years away, I was struck by this moment of praise on the banks of the Jordan River.
In Genesis 32, Jacob is bringing his family across the Jordan River as he heads back towards his brother Esau. He is fearful of what his future holds, and unsure how Esau will react to seeing him after he stole Esau’s birthright. But despite his fear and uncertainty, he stops for this moment as his family begins crossing the Jordan, and praises the Lord:
“I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant; for with my staff only I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies.” Genesis 32:10
All those years ago, he crossed this very river with only a staff. Now, he brings back a large family with many children, a variety of flocks and herds, and enough people that they can divide into two different companies!
When was the last time you took a moment to reflect on how God has grown and changed you since you first came to know Him?
Ten years ago, in 2011, I was a freshman in college. At 18 years old, the future felt unknown. It seemed exciting, and a little frightening too. Hopeful, yet not absent of doubt. If 2011 Jackie could look ten years into the future to my present-day self, what would she think? I suppose she would be relieved to see I am married (a real concern many college freshmen share!). She would be excited to see my two little ones and to know I get to be a mother. I also think she would be amazed by my drastic increase in productivity (2021 Jackie doesn’t have much time for binge-watching movies or procrastinating tasks anymore!).
Even more so, I hope she would be encouraged by how the Lord has grown my love for Him and His Word. Freshman Jackie was still in the early stages of learning how to prioritize time in the Bible, what it meant to love and obey Christ, and how to live a life honoring to God. Even now I certainly am still growing in these areas, but when I look back at my walk with the Lord ten years ago, I praise Him for the innumerable ways He has grown, sanctified, and matured me in my walk with Him. I praise Him for the blessings He has given me through my family and church, and I pray He will continue growing me and changing me to become more like Him.
I hope you, like Jacob in Genesis 32:10, may take a moment to reflect on how God has grown you since you first came to know Him! Amidst the busyness and stress of life, may we take time to pause, look around, and praise God for how far He has brought us, and how He has changed us. May we be encouraged and praise Him for the fruit that we see in our lives as we live for and walk with Him!
In love,
Jackie
